Lynford and Natalie

There’s a crowbar in the trunk because I won’t wait for time to break down your defenses. It will be a quiet night, a dark forest clearing where even the trees will join in my chorus of worship. And the first blow will take you away from them and closer to me. My hair’s your breath and your clenched teeth are the sinews threading my heart. One pound, two pound. The sighs from your lips power this ancient engine churning inside. I have worked myself to perfection to serve you gasping under the starlight. The veins in my skin pump viscosity to spill it at your feet and the only answer I need is “Yes.”

IDLE RIFFRAFF

My parents went to Dover Downs Saturday night, and I was responsible for taking out the dogs Sunday morning. By morning, they meant no later than 7am. Completely unacceptable. So instead of sleeping for five or so hours, I decided just NOT to sleep. What did I do? Watched Heroes season 1 and drank (count 'em) 10 cans of diet coke. My little sister, who endeavored upon this quest with me, didn't quite make it (she offed at 5). We made Velveeta around 2. I had some bread sticks and yogurt to keep me metabolizing. It was a night, definitely. My final hour count was 40. I got about 9 hours of sleep, which my body decided wasn't enough for lucidity. Bit of bad timing, since I had a test this morning. I didn't bomb it, but I could recognize a significant difference in my performance. Oh well.

Hey guys here's an awesome experiment! Comment if you read this! (hahahaha)

So I finally finally started my bookshelf painting thing again. It was pretty nice. Of course I changed the original panel design, but I can't draw cats, so it's okay. I learned how to draw stairs~ That sort of thing makes me think I could one day draw for srsly but honestly I was just looking at a Google picture the entire time. But! They look convincingly like stairs. If drawing didn't involve things like perspective and 3 dimensions, I'd be rolling in the money. Now I only have one panel left! And three weeks to do it (that's cutting it close haha)

Yeah, ask me how much of my to-do list I've accomplished, and the answer would be no. I wanted to write a story or two, I wanted to write a sestina, I wanted to sketch some ARG I would never start, and what did I do instead? Stick figures. Mind you, the addition of legs was a nice improvement, but I could've been doing so much more. Sigh.

I'm going through a fantastically interesting period of German learning. Like I can feel myself actually learning it. It's weird, because I've done it before (with English), and now I'm conscious of what is happening. It's hard to think of myself as a brain and some flabs of meat, but this drives the point home. My brain is rewiring itself.

Hhhhhhuh. Guys, I still struggle at expressing myself. I think to some level I'm screwed up in the head. I can easily shun people. I make up complex character-based melodramas in my head just to experience a kind of emotional connection. I criticize my actions and then criticize my criticisms. I'm a hypocrite who loves humans on the large scale but can ignore the woman across the street asking for help. (in the moment we are monsters) Sometimes it's easier to lie to people, especially when it gets me away from awkward situations quicker. I think I hate my family, but I hate that I hate. I can pull meta-bullshit out of my ass.

Well. That's enough meta for now. I think my body wants to sleep.