THE BIG TWO-OH

Leaving for Germany in almost two weeks, and dealing with last minute flipping-a-shit financial problems. But the proper emails have been sent, and we'll see which direction things head. I'm at a bit of a low point of excitement because I have no language skills, and things at the house have been thrown off by my uncle's death. There's a lot of monthly bullshit to pay off/cancel subscription to, which I should make a list of.

My current list of things to do before leaving country includes silly things like finishing the continuation of my bookshelf comic project. This will not happen because I am never home and suck at knowing my artistic limits. Lol what is perspective? I get the basics but of course I go for the complicated changing-angle shot. Sigh. Also the only working copier in the house isn't, so unless I cut up the book I won't be able to even put the "words" up anyway. But I did paint a river and it looks like a mean river.

I'm not sure what I was thinking, dropping myself in a foreign country by myself. I'm a tad lacking in the social skills, but I've begun to conclude that a lot of the time this awkwardness is internalized. I can hold conversations with people if they line up with my level of humor. That last sentence doesn't explain nearly at all what I wanted to say. Anyway, I guess when it comes down to it, I don't remember how I made the friends I have now, so the same will happen again. I inherited some sense of natural charisma from my father.

I have a problem with my overwhelming naiveté. I subscribe to the "Sweep It Under The Carpet" notion and I sugarcoat the world when I see everyday what a terrible place it can be. There is not enough realism to temper my idealism, I have been told in a roundabout way. (On a side note: stop taking the opposite side to every argument.)

Whelp I am bored with this now